To Educate a Woman is to Empower the World

Gender discrimination is not helping humanity it is hurting humanity.  In my opinion gender discrimination is what lead to slavery, but I digress. However, I do strongly affirm that to educate a woman is to empower the world at large. This is the true "Butterfly Effect"!  When we educate women, women move on to make very educated and caring decisions about their family and community.

Sheryl WuDunn and Nickolas Kristoff co authored a wonderful book and documentary called "Half the Sky -Turning oppression into opportunity"

Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn on Why Women's Rights are the Key to the Future from Mountainfilm in Telluride on Vimeo.

The Mastery of Love - Don Ruiz

"A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship"

The most important relationship is with the person in the mirror...YOU. You can't begin to really love anyone else until you have a full understanding of who you are and  really accept yourself.

 I have spent many years learning and trying to share this information with women. when i put my hands on this book i was shouting so much as i was reading it tears started to flow. I promised myself I would share this book every chance i could.
 
The Mastery of Love is a great book/tool in self discovery and how to accept yourself and other people for who they are and how to use discernment when dealing with your relationships with friends, family and your love life.   

This video sums up the book beautifully.

 Below is the 2 part audio book "The Mastery of Love"

Democratic Socialist Womanism

Poet and activist Alice Walker reads her new poem, "Democratic Womanism," and discusses her thoughts on President Obama's legacy, including his use of drone strikes. "You ask me why I smile when you tell me you intend in the coming national elections to hold your nose and vote for the lesser of two evils," reads Walker. "There are more than two evils out there, is one reason I smile."

 

Partnership vs Dominator Society Models

Riane Eisler describes how humankind once lived in a caring, sharing environment. That period, which lasted for tens of thousands of years, survived, though barely, just into historical times. It was characterized by a worship of the divine feminine as represented by the chalice in the title of Eisler's book.

In a blink of the eye, historically speaking, that environment was brutally overthrown and replaced with the beginnings of the patriarchy in which we live today. Those who overthrew this golden age worshipped not life and creativity, but death and destruction; in short, the blade. Those in power today continue to worship that blade, which has been changed by the rapid rise of technology into the lethal systems that could end all life on the planet in a matter of days or hours.

The premise of The Chalice and the Blade is that the rapid transition from a partnership society to a male dominator society was the result of the sociological equivalent of a "critical bifurcation point" in Chaos theory. Eisler explains in some detail how the currently popular scientific theory applies to that sudden shift into darkness that occurred approximately six or seven thousand years ago. However, she also goes on to propose that we once again face a critical bifurcation point; that we live in an exciting, dangerous time in which we can just as rapidly overthrow our hierarchically controlled patriarchal system and replace it with a technologically advanced model of the partnership system in which both genders work together to emphasize the nurturing side of life.

Download link: http://www.4shared.com/office/yaBF5Iaf/Chalice_And_The_Blade_Review.html

Lessons on Surrender

Your thoughts definitely create things if you put action behind the.  but "when you have worked as hard and done as much and strived and tried and given and plead and bargained and hoped - Surrender. When you have done all that you can do, and there is nothing left for you to do. Give it up. Give it up to that thing that is greater than yourself and let it then become a part of the flow" ~Oprah Winfrey
.

The World of the Goddess - Marija Gimbutas

An absorbing view of the culture, religious beliefs, symbolism and mythology of the prehistoric, pre-patriarchal cultures of Old Europe, who revered and celebrated the Great Goddess of Life, Death, and Regeneration in all her many forms, of plants, of stone, of animals and humans, by the scholar who has made the exploration of these cultures her life work.... The program is produced by William Free, producer of the acclaimed television series with Joseph Campbell, "Transformations of Myth through Time."

On Gimbutas:

Marija Gimbutas was a Lithuanian-American archeologist known for her research into the Neolithic and Bronze Age cultures of "Old Europe", a term she introduced. Her works published between 1946 and 1971 introduced new views by combining traditional spadework with linguistics and mythological interpretation.

African Queens - Surpressed Histories

African Warrior Women

According to Greek accounts, the earliest Amazons came from Libya (then a name for most of North Africa). They wore red leather and carried crescent-shaped shields. It was these Libyan Amazons, they said, who later founded cities and temples in the Aegean and Anatolia.
At a much later period, the Amazons of Dahomey were crack all-female troops, all female, who also served as royal bodyguards. They were also priestesses and wore crescent moon crowns.
The Hausa had a number of warrior queens, notably Amina of Zau Zau. A woman named Bazao-Turunku led warriors and founded a town south of Zaria.
Nupe women warriors called Isadshi-Koseshi fought as fiercely as the men, opposing invasions of the Fulbe conquerers who raided the Nupe for cattles and slaves, especially women.
 

JAMAICA

Nyabinghi, the "hidden queen" fought to free Africans from English slavery and rule. Also called Queen Muhmusa or Tahtahme, she inspired the Nyabinghi underpinnings of Rastafarianism.
Nanny of the Maroons was born in Ghana, and folk history says that she came to Jamaica with the express purpose of becoming a high priestess and leader of her people, never having been a slave. She was an obeah-woman who led the eastern Maroons based in Moreton, and forged an alliance with another group led by Cudjoe. (The name Maroons comes from the Spanish cimarron,meaning "gone back to the wild.")

The Jamaican Maroons were the first people to force the English to sign a treaty with their subjects, on March 1, 1738. The lands conceded in this treaty formed a base for the Maroon's independent survival. One of these communities was named Nannytown after the female Ghanaian leader. Maroon country was so feared by the English that it became known as the "Land of Look-Behind."

(Queen Nanny is discussed in the Rebel Shamans presentation.)

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WOMEN BEAT BACK SLAVECATCHERS

In the summer of 1848, eight or ten people made it across the Ohio river in their northward flight from slavery. The slave catchers tracked them into town, but the bounty they were after turned out to be elusive:
"The women began to gather from adjoining houses until the Amazons were about equal to the [slave-hunters]-- the former with shovels, tongs, washboards and rolling pins; the latter with revolvers, sword-canes and bowie-knives. Finally the beseigers decamped, leaving the Amazons in possession of the field, amid the jeers and loud huzzahs of the crowd."
--Report from The North Star, an African-American paper out of Cincinnati, August 11, 1848. (For more, see Dorothy Sterling's book Speak Out In Thunder Tones.)

GHANA

"If you the men of Ashanti will not go forward, then we will. We the women will. I shall call upon you my fellow women. We will fight the white men. We will fight until the last of us falls in the battlefield."
---Ya Asantewa, an Ashanti queen who led the resistence to British colonial rule in Ghana. She succeeded in the short run, but the Ashanti were heavily outgunned.

THE "WAR OF THE WOMEN"
The Aba rebellion in southeastern Nigeria grew out of a traditional female rite of the Igbo. People were outraged at the colonial government's plan to tax women, "the trees that bear fruit." In protest, Ibo women bound their heads with ferns, painted their faces with ash, put on loincloths and carried sacred sticks with palm frond wreaths. Thousands marched on the District Office, dancing, singing protests, and demanding the cap of office of the colonial chief Okugo. When he approached one woman to count her goats and sheep, she had retorted, "Was mother counted?"
This protest spread into a vast regional insurrection. The Ibo women's councils mobilized demonstrations in three provinces, turning out over 2,000,000 protesters. The British District Officer at Bende wrote, "The trouble spread in the 2nd week of December to Aba, an important trading center on the railway. Here there converged some 10,000 women, scantily clothed, girdled with green leaves, carrying sticks. Singing angry songs against the chiefs and the court messengers, the women proceeded to attack and loot the European trading shops, stores, and Barclay's Bank, and to break into the prison and release the prisoners."
Elsewhere women protestors burned down the hated British "Native Courts" and cut telegraph wires, throwing officials into panic. The colonials fired on the female protesters, killing more than fifty and wounding more. Marches continued sporadically into 1930. These mass actions became known as the Aba Rebellion of 1929, or The War of the Women. It was one of the most significant anti-colonial revolts in Africa of that day.
Diola women led similar protests against French attempts to exact a tribute from their rice harvest in Senegal, an event dramatized by filmmaker Ousmane Sembene.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

If you want to know who I am
I am daughter of Angola, of Kêto and Nagô
I don't fear blows because I am a warrior
Inside of samba I was born
I raised myself, I transformed myself, and
no one will lower my banner, O, O, O.
I am a warrior woman daughter of Ogun and Yansâ

---Song from an album by Brazilian singer Clara Nuñes

Rain Queens of the Lovedu

Dzugudini, a grand-daughter of "the famous ruler Monomatapa," was the founding Rain Queen of the Lovedu. Her royal father was angry that she bore a child out of wedlock. Oral tradition says her mother taught her the art of rain-making and gave her rain charms and sacred beads. Then she fled south with some supporters. They settled peacefully among the Sotho. In the early 1800s, a leadership crisis was resolved by accession of the first Mujaji, a Rain Queen with both political and ceremonial power. Chiefs presented her with wives. She had no military, but even the Zulu king Shaka paid her tribute because of her rain power. Her successors have less authority, but still preside over womanhood initiations and other important rituals.

 

SWAZI

The queen is called by honorific titles such as "Mother of the Country" and Indlovukati, "Lady Elephant." She is a powerful rain maker, guardian of the royal clan's sacred objects, and addresses the ancestors on behalf of the Swazi nation. She has the power to give sanctuary to persons condemned by the king's court. Her village is the capital of the country, where troops are quartered.

 

HAUSA

Many powerful queens are remembered in Hausa tradition. Among the Kotoko, the Gumsu was the female heir of the land, associated with the morning star, mother of all stars. She lived in the southern part of the palace and performed functions associated with the south, was the head of the country's women and played a leading part in the seven year rites for its welfare. The Kotoko government was based on a delicate balance of male/female, right/left, north/south. Among the Kanuri, the Gumsu retained her authority in Muslim times. Diwan records recount that the Gumsu Fasama became angry at her son, Sultan Biri ibn Dunama, for executing a thief, rather than cutting off his hands as the Koran decreed. "Accordingly his mother put Biri in prison, and he submitted to the punishment for a whole year

source :http://www.suppressedhistories.net/articles/africanqueens.html

Image Is Everything

An interesting analysis of the role of men and women is explored by Leonard Shlain in his book...

The Alphabet Versus the Goddess: The Conflict Between Word and Image

What he notes is that as soon as we shifted to a phonetic alphabet and because how it's processed in the brain in a more linear fashion it may have reduced the role of women and image within culture by rewiring the brain.

He points to the Ten Commandments as the first published document in a phonetic alphabet and its prohibition against image and its reduction of the status of women.

Today with our movement toward the use of more images we are seeing a return of balance which includes instead of excluding a "feminine" view of the world.

Empowering Force of Black Feminist Teaching

Often praised for their strength, many black women nonetheless suffer lives of victimization and oppression. Author and black feminist activist Dr. Alexis P. Gumbs uses black feminist thought in her intergenerational self-empowerment workshops. Hear her strategy.

Is A Relationship About Compromise?

You've heard it time and time again “every relationship is built on compromise”. Is that so? When it comes to the core characteristics and deal breakers of possible mates I feel as though there should not be any compromise. We can compromise on what movie we watch, what’s for dinner, what color to paint the living room and possibly furniture selection, but we can’t compromise on core characteristics and deal breakers.

 Core characteristics like moral values, do they want children, if they eventually want to get married (although this is definitely not a first date topic), do they drink, what is their sexual preference or are they are they spiritually open minded these things are non negotiable. If the possible mate is emotionally unavailable, extremely guarded, a cheater, liar or not honest and forthcoming then these things would be considered deal breakers. The point I am trying to make here is when you open yourself up to dating that is the time to find out what you are looking for and what type of things breaks the deal on relationship possibilities. Going into a relationship under the guise of you can “fix” someone else is not fair to you or them. This does not mean that you can’t be friends or that at a later time a relationship may not work. Either you are good for each other, each of you has the things you seek in a mate or not.

If there is something that one person wishes they could change about the core characteristics of the other person, then they are not really in love with that person. When you try to change a person to fit what you want them to be you are essential saying you don’t like who they are and if that is the case, why are you with them? On the flip side if you change the core of who you are to be with someone else, how long will you be able to keep the facade up and will you be happy? It really says something about a person when they make the comment he/she makes me happy? How can someone make you happy? Shouldn't you be happy and in love with yourself first and then your mate accentuates your happiness? If someone makes you happy what happens when they no longer want to be in the relationship? Being the one that makes another person happy is a huge responsibility that no one should have to bear. We should learn to fall in love and be happy with ourselves first so we can attract the person that wants to share our love of self with us. Both people have to be at a point where they love their selves in order to be able to give love to each other.

Societal standards have an enormous impact on how people feel about their selves if they do not have a firm foundation and strong sense of self. We need to be comfortable with creating the relationship we want versus trying to fit into what society says a “normal” relationship should be. When I shared my perspective on love and compromise with a male friend of mine and he said “well no one is perfect and isn't that a selfish”. I calmly said “I don’t think so” but I definitely think its self-ful. In my opinion my top priority in life is me and making sure I am happy and being with someone who does not exhibit the characteristics I want in a mate at the time we decide to go into a relationship is settling and I don’t feel I need or have to settle. He then said “what if you met a man and you were not currently what he wanted”. I responded “it would be in his best interest to delay a commitment and continue to date to see if things changed or just go the other way, he shouldn't settle either”. Listen as Eartha Kitt shares some great mother wisdom on love and compromise.

Iyanla's First Experience With God

The first time Iyanla Vanzant saw God, she says, God was a woman standing behind her in the mirror. The second time, Iyanla says, God came to her after she attempted suicide. Watch as Iyanla opens up about that experience and how she later used law school to teach herself God's law and help others.

To heal her painful past and start anew, Rhonda Harris changed her name to Iyanla Vanzant when she was in her 20s—a decision that would become one of the most significant mileposts on Iyanla's spiritual journey. Watch as Iyanla reveals how she chose her new name and what it means. Plus, Iyanla shares the difference between Rhonda's belief in God and her own.

What is Black Women's Studies?

Women's studies, also known as feminist studies, is an interdisciplinary academic field which explores politics, society and history from an inter-sectional, multicultural women's perspective. It critiques and explores societal norms of gender, race, class, sexuality, and other social inequalities.

African American Studies is an interdisciplinary academic field devoted to the study of the history, culture, and politics of Black Americans. Taken broadly, the field studies not only the cultures of people of African descent in the United States, but the cultures of the entire African diaspora. The field includes scholars of African American literature, history, politics, religion and religious studies, sociology, and many other disciplines within the humanities and social sciences.

The field of Black Women's Studies has developed because of the failure of Black Studies or Women's Studies to address the unique experiences of African-American women adequately.

The Business of Being Born

The Business of Being Born is a 2008 documentary film that explores the contemporary experience of childbirth in the United States.

Produced by Ricki Lake, it compares various childbirth methods, including midwives, natural births, epidurals, and Cesarean sections.

The film criticizes the American health care system with its emphasis on drugs and costly interventions and its view of childbirth as a medical emergency rather than a natural occurrence.

The film documents actual home births and water births. They follow a midwife, Cara, in New York as she takes care of and attends several births.

They then give the audience several shocking statistics about our current birthing techniques and challenges today’s doctors.

For example, the United States has the second worst newborn death rate in the developed world. Many experts are interviewed and they cite a multitude of reasons for this dismal statistic such as the overuse of medical procedures in the interest of saving time.

Watch on Netflix http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/The_Business_of_Being_Born/70075502?locale=en-US

Executive Producer Ricki Lake and Filmmaker Abby Epstein follow their landmark documentary, The Business of Being Born, with an all-new, four part DVD series that continues their provocative and entertaining exploration of the modern maternity care system. More Business of Being Born, available on November 8th, 2011, offers a practical look at birthing options as well as poignant celebrity birth stories from stars including Alanis Morissette, Lailah Ali, Gisele Bundchen, Christy Turlington-Burns, Cindy Crawford, Molly Ringwald, Kimberly Williams-Paisley and Melissa Joan Hart.

Watch on Netflix
http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/More_Business_of_Being_Born/70256657?locale=en-US

Food Matters

Food matters from Kangen-Romania on Vimeo.

Let thy Food be thy Medicine and thy Medicine be thy Food – Hippocrates. That is the message from the founding father of modern medicine echoed in the controversial new documentary film Food Matters from Producer-Directors James Colquhoun and Laurentine ten Bosch.
With nutritionally-depleted foods, chemical additives and our tendency to rely upon pharmaceutical drugs to treat what’s wrong with our malnourished bodies, it’s no wonder that modern society is getting sicker.
Food Matters sets about uncovering the trillion dollar worldwide sickness industry and gives people some scientifically verifiable solutions for overcoming illness naturally.
In what promises to be the most contentious idea put forward, the filmmakers have interviewed several leading experts in nutrition and natural healing who claim that not only are we harming our bodies with improper nutrition, but that the right kind of foods, supplements and detoxification can be used to treat chronic illnesses as fatal as terminally diagnosed cancer.
The focus of the film is in helping us rethink the belief systems fed to us by our modern medical and health care establishments. The interviewees point out that not every problem requires costly, major medical attention and reveal many alternative therapies that can be more effective, more economical, less harmful and less invasive than conventional medical treatments.

Out My Mind Just In Time

This song speaks for itself. Listen and read the lyrics, post a comment about what is being conveyed.

Erykah Badu
"Out My Mind, Just In Time"

I'm a recovering undercover over-lover
recovering from a love I can't get over
recovering undercover over-lover
and now my common law lover thinks he wants another

And I'd lie for you
I'd cry for you
and pop for you
and break for you
and hate for you
And I'll hate you too
If you want me too
Ah, Uuu...
I'd pray for you
crochet for you
Make it from scratch for you
Leave out the last for you
Go to the store for you
Do it some more for you
Do what you want me to
Yes I'm a fool for you...

I'm a recovering undercover over-lover
recovering from a love I can't get over
(I) recovering undercover over-lover
And now my common law lover thinks he wants another

And I'd lie for you
and cry for you
and pop for you
and break for you
and hate for you
and I'll hate you too
If you want me too
I gotta do my love for you
chopped and screwed for you
Pay the rent for you
It's true it's true
Poor Badu
Thought I was through with you
Guess I'm a fool for you...

Could this be
Love from high
New frontier
Whose this guy
Your so wise
I'm so good
Like summertime
You'd had it all
Build a wall
Ten feet tall
Now I laugh at it all
Out my mind
Just in time
Never knew...
I was blind
What it through
I can't see there
Mama say
Let there be
Easily
Said and done
I can't feel
I am numb
Bitter dream
Fruit so raw
Winter cold
Let me out
I know you
Do you hear me

Out my mind,
just in time

Oho I...
Oho I...
Oho I...
Oho I...
Yeah
Man...
This This
I'm so addicted
I can't quit
Oh
I follow this, Yeah.
It's time for me to make some steps
Easy to blame somebody else
But not this time
But not this time
But not this time
But not this
No
But not this time
But not this time
But not this time
But not this
No
But not this time...
But not this time
But not this
No
But not this time...
But not this time
But not this
No
20 feet out of ashes I can rise
Just like birds and children
I can fly
And I'll take my phoenix flight
And you can't take mine
but you can try, ah no
But not this time
But not this time
But not this time
But not this
No
But not this time
But not this time
But not this time
But not this
No
But not this time...
But not this time
But not this
No
But not this time
But not this time
But not this time
But not this
Hey
On and on
I seem to go
Round and round I seem to go
always had the antidote
looking for the Holy Ghost
Found him in the missing note
sinking in a holy boat
Round and round
I seem to go
Round and round...(round)...and round
Oho I ...
Oho I...
Oho I...
Yeah,
guess it's time to grab a coat
evolution time to grow
Ego trying to block the door
Might not have nowhere to go
I finally got a leading role
introducing super dope
Staring in her episode
Hello, new world
out my mind.

What Does Planned Parenthood and Martin Luther King have in common?

What could Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood and Dr Martin Luther King Jr have in common. It seems they both shared a belief that a woman had the right to choose. Below is an excerpt of a radio show were Kirsten West Savali (Journalist) was interviewed by Jesse Lee Peterson (Rev/Radio Talk Show Host)  in reference to an article she wrote title "Dr King Supported Margaret Sanger & Planned Parenthood, Why Won't You".

PART 1

PART 2

Dr. King Supported Margaret Sanger & Planned Parenthood, Why Won’t You?

December 2, 2011 by Kirsten West Savali

Michael King, Jr., commonly known to the world as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. omitted several truths in his lifetime, from plagiarizing his doctoral dissertation, to upholding the core family value of fidelity. His early pacifist approach to the Civil Rights Movement and willingness to place assimilation as the foremost goal of that righteous cause dampened my trust in the stability of the pedestal the Black community placed him on long ago; but, in his dedicated support to Planned Parenthood founder, Margaret Sanger, he exemplified a bold courage that I appreciate immensely.

 We’ve all heard the stories; more accurately, we’ve all been force fed the myth that Margaret Sanger was a racist villain on a one-woman crusade to staunch the births of Black and Brown babies in the United States. Yes, it is true that she was a devout eugenicist, determined through such means as segregation and sterilization to weed out “inferior” people in society. Sanger also allegedly believed that organized charities implemented to prolong and enhance the lives of impoverished members of society were counter-productive to population control. With these salient facts in mind, I find it ironic that Planned Parenthood’s most vocal detractors, the Grand Ole’ Party, share those beliefs, illuminating them in stark relief in every single discriminatory legislation they attempt to filibuster into existence.

In an attempt to play on the instinctive racial solidarity of the Black community, conservatives continue to tokenize the legacy of Marcus Garvey and his antagonistic view of birth control as proof of their sincere wish to do what is most beneficial for the African-American community. They continue to prop Sanger’s Negro Project up as the singular example of her nefarious intent, while ignoring the life-saving contributions of Planned Parenthood. In a letter to Dr. Clarence Gamble in 1939, after Garvey voiced his opposition to birth control, Sanger revealed a strategy that has haunted her organization to this day:

“We should hire three or four colored ministers, preferably with social-service backgrounds and with engaging personalities. The most successful educational approach to the Negro is through a religious appeal. We don’t want the word to go out that we want to exterminate the Negro population. And the minister is the man who can straighten out that idea if it ever occurs to any of their more rebellious members.”
It reads horribly, doesn’t it?

The words written by Sanger makes it easy for accusations of racism, bigotry and prejudice to escape unabated. It makes it even easier for the truth to be buried beneath instinctive defense mechanisms that we have desperately sharpened and honed since the days of Jim and Jane Crow.
But let’s pull back the covers, shall we?

There are two equally powerful Sanger quotes that appear in Earl Conrad’s, “American Viewpoint on U.S Birth and Bias Control,” which was published in The Chicago Defender on September 22, 1945. Not surprisingly, they never quite seem to make the soundbite reel:

“What hangs over the South is that the Negro has been in servitude. The white southerner is slow to forget this. His attitude is the archaic of this age. Supremacist thinking belongs in a museum.”
“The big answer, as I see it, is the education of the white man. The white man is the problem. It is the same as with the Nazis. We must change the white attitudes. That is where it lies.”

In her memoir, Margaret Sanger, An Autobiography, on pages 366-367, Sanger details her harrowing experience meeting with the women’s branch of the Ku Klux Klan in Silver Lake, New Jersey. When Sanger’s life’s work, with all of its contradictions, is viewed in context, what swiftly becomes evident is that her message of reproductive freedom and women’s absolute authority over their bodies extended well beyond the confines of the African-American community. According to her writings, Sanger was an avowed elitist who advocated for contraception, not abortion, and her eugenics philosophy encompassed the poor, mentally ill and disabled — regardless of color. But for conservatives to admit that, they would need to find a new boogey-man to spook Black women into voting against their own self-interests.

Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA), said it best: “The conservatives want small government-small enough to fit in your uterus.” The Republican Party is attempting to eliminate every single public policy that financially assists those historically marginalized in this country, yet pretend to care about life. Their agenda appears to be to preserve a menial workforce for capital gain, yet on reproductive issues, the Black community at-large unwittingly supports that ideology, while decrying the discriminatory practices that are murdering our communities in large numbers.

to read the entire article click the link below

source :http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2011/12/dr-king-supported-margaret-sanger-planned-parenthood-why-won%E2%80%99t-you/

Reclaiming Your Sexuality after Sexual Assault

According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) someone in the U.S. is assaulted every 2 minutes. Approximately 2/3 assaults are perpetrated by someone known to the victim. These stats can make dating and relationships a scary task for any woman, let alone a woman who is a survivor of sexual assault. Sexual assault is a crime that often leaves its survivors confused, ashamed and angry. The most important thing is for women to not only survive, but thrive and reclaim their sexuality. It’s important to understand what a healthy sexual relationship looks like and to be able to reclaim your right to explore your sexuality and enjoy it. It can be a challenging and scary process, but it’s totally worth the while. Learn about how to initiate reclaiming your sexuality after sexual assault:

Regardless of what may have occurred in the past, you still have the ultimate say in what happens to your body. Sexual assault may make many women feel powerless or without a voice. They may feel that if they tried to speak up for themselves before and were violated, there’s no point in trying again. Each sexual incident you experience should be consensual and satisfying for you and you have the final say in what you want to do or not do. That means if you want to engage in oral sex, but not vaginal sex, your partner should respect your limits. You don’t owe anyone anything sexually.

Realize the power, strength and beauty of your body. Sexual assault doesn’t always leave physical scars, but it often leaves mental and emotional scars of shame. Sexual assault victims often feel their bodies are de-valued and “dirty” and worry their future partners will become disgusted upon learning of the assault. No one can take your beauty away. The female body is an amazing vessel capable of the very life that walks the earth. No one else’s opinions or attitudes determine your body’s beauty and power. If you need a bit of strength to get you started, check out works like The Vagina Monologues or For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/ When the Rainbow is Enuf.

Build your support system and talk to them. As black women, sometimes we feel like we have to deal with everything on our own and are afraid to ask for help. Recognizing when a situation is beyond your control and asking for help is actually a sign of strength. Support groups can offer help from women who are facing many of the same challenges you are. Counselors who are trained in dealing with sexual trauma can help you confront your fears and provide you with techniques to deal with your conflicting emotions that you may not have thought of on your own. Just talking about your feelings can bring you one step closer to healing.

Distinguish intimacy from sex. Since most sexual assault involves a perpetrator who previously knew the victim, much of it results from a perpetrator who took advantage of a close, intimate relationship. It’s important to understand that all intimacy doesn’t lead to sex, and that all sex isn’t about intimacy. What matters is that both people involved agree and consent on the terms under which the sex is taking place. Intimacy can be difficult to understand after sexual assault, so it may take some time. Practice talking about feelings, being close to someone and expressing emotions in ways that are not sexual. Understand that all men who want sex, don’t necessarily want intimacy and be honest with yourself and your partner about what you expect from a relationship, sexual or otherwise.

Embrace your sexuality. Your breasts, thighs and your behind are all parts of your female anatomy that symbolize sex in our society. That is no excuse for misogyny and they are not the reasons you were assaulted. Sexual assault in most cases is a display of power, more than it is for sexual gratification. You shouldn’t feel ashamed to show some cleavage or wear tight jeans because someone else couldn’t control themselves so they tried to control you. Men with a healthy view of relationships will not only honor your sexuality, but respect your sexual values as well.

Don’t pressure yourself.

Sexual assault is serious business and you have the right to take your time to explore and learn how to manage ALL of your feelings. Don’t force yourself to run back to work or class and carry on as usual. By distracting yourself by keeping busy, you’re only allowing your feelings and thoughts to grow more tangled and built up. Much like someone recovers in a hospital after being physically assaulted, you may also need to take some time for recovery and addressing any issues you may have.

Communicate with future partners. Your sexual assault doesn’t have to define you, but it shouldn’t have to be a secret either. It could be a bit misleading to enter into a committed relationship with someone who isn’t informed about your sexual history, and the truth is that your assault is now a part of your sexual history. Be clear with your partner that you don’t want to be treated like a fragile victim who will flip out if he touches you the wrong way, but revealing this part of your past can equip your partner with the mindset that they may have to approach the relationship with a bit more patience and compassion.

source: http://madamenoire.com/55124/reclaiming-your-sexuality-after-sexual-assault/

Why Study Comparative Religion?

This is thought by some to be a very taboo and argumentative subject. I feel as though in our culture we are in most cases handed a religious ideology from our parents. Between school, life circumstances, having children and working not all of us have made time to really acknowledge that we had questions about the religion of our parents. We are shunned away from speaking openly about this in fear of rejection or people not wanting to deal with us because we have questions. Religion plays a major part in everyday decisions we make.  It plays a major role in how we feel about ourselves, how we relate to other people and how we raise our children; still we ignore the question of how we came to be a part of a religious system.   From a young age we are told not to question “God”. But who said that was correct and if “God” is the omnipotent and omnipresent then by studying various spiritual systems I should come right back to my original standpoint and religion correct?  Should my studies not fortify my position if it is indeed the “correct and righteous” spiritual expression for me? Religion is a part of our personal, social, public, political and psychological lifestyle. In most cases the individual is not pushed to be a critical thinker or to be open minded. In general most young women are socialized to be a part of “group think” especially when it comes to religion. How can we be so arrogant as to say “my religion” is the only true religion and all the other ones are wrong if we have not done the research and found this truth for ourselves? How can I be steadfast in my purpose and my life mission if I am not secure in what I know, not what someone else told me but what I know… not believe. My foundation has to be secure for me to be “on my square” How can we be so quick to discredit another person’s right to their spiritual/religious points of view but expect them to respect ours at the same time?  

What is comparative religion?

Comparative religion is a field of religious studies that analyzes the similarities and differences of themes, myths, rituals and concepts among the world's religions. Religion can be defined as the human beliefs and practices regarding the sacred, numinous, spiritual and divine.

As we converse on spirituality there are some choice words that tend to find themselves in the dialogue. Those words are believe, belief, truth, know and faith. Let’s explore these words and their etymology so that we are clear on their meaning. Definition of belief:

1 : a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing

2 : something believed; especially : a tenet or body of tenets held by a group

3 : conviction of the truth of some statement or the reality of some being or phenomenon especially when based on examination of evidence

Definition of believe:

1 a : to have a firm religious faith b : to accept something as true, genuine, or real <ideals we believe in> <believes in ghosts>

2 : to have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something <believe in exercise>

3 : to hold an opinion : think <I believe so>

transitive verb

1 a : to consider to be true or honest <believe the reports> <you wouldn't believe how long it took> b : to accept the word or evidence of <I believe you> <couldn't believe my ears>

2 : to hold as an opinion : suppose <I believe it

Definition of Know

1 a (1) : to perceive directly : have direct cognition of (2) : to have understanding of <importance of knowing oneself> (3) : to recognize the nature of : discern b (1) : to recognize as being the same as something previously known (2) : to be acquainted or familiar with (3) : to have experience of

2 a : to be aware of the truth or factuality of : be convinced or certain of b : to have a practical understanding of <knows how to write>

3 archaic : to have sexual intercourse with (we will talk about this one later!!)

Define Faith

1 a : allegiance to duty or a person : loyalty b (1) : fidelity to one's promises (2) : sincerity of intentions

2 a (1) : belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) : belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust

3 : something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially : a system of religious beliefs <the Protestant faith> — on faith : without question <took everything he said on faith>

Define Truth

1 a archaic : fidelity, constancy b : sincerity in action, character, and utterance

2 a (1) : the state of being the case : fact (2) : the body of real things, events, and facts : actuality (3) often capitalized : a transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality b : a judgment, proposition, or idea that is true or accepted as true <truths of thermodynamics> c : the body of true statements and propositions

3 a : the property (as of a statement) of being in accord with fact or reality b chiefly British : true 2 c : fidelity to an original or to a standard

4 capitalized Christian Science : god — in truth : in accordance with fact : actually

Why do most religions require blind faith?

Blind faith – faith without evidence (evidence in totality not a portions but the total story the ways it’s reported).  Do you have blind faith in the infallible word of “God” which comes in the form of a book?  Did you experience the happenings as written in the book? Did you see it written with your own eyes by “God”? These things go right back to the issue of being told not to question “God”.  This is what blind faith is about.  Standing on faith and believing what is in the sacred text which was inspired by “God” but lacks evidence.

Let’s be honest blind faith is a control mechanism. It keeps people from asking important questions they would normally ask about anything someone wanted to give them if they had never heard of it and wasn’t familiar with it already.

 Why do most religions have some form of evangelism?

Most of the mainstream religions have a core belief that people in other religions have to be saved from going to a hell or purgatory in order to make it to heaven or paradise which you can only get to in the afterlife.  What about now?  According to these same religions your life now is a sacrifice and suffering for what you will get in the afterlife.  Now here is a good you a question would you go to work everyday for a check you would get after you die? Honestly, I do not know anyone that would answer this question yes.

This leads me right to the next topic.  FEAR.  

Why do most religions have a fear campaign?

 If you don’t believe in Jesus, Yahweh or Mohammad you will not be saved from purgatory or hell. This very threat of going to hell is the fear tactic that is used to keep people from questioning their religious beliefs. 

 On the occasion that someone has a different religion surely something must be wrong with them. We are so judgmental because most mainstream religion teaches that their religion is the only true religion of their god this as the basic tenets of the doctrine. Due to this embedded fear factor many people never investigate or admit they have questions about religion.  Whenever the fear is taken away most people would feel free to live their lives much differently that we currently do. 

What is the historical impact of religion?

In most world civilization and history courses the topic of religion comes up.  One day I was asked why?  I responded you can’t study a civilization or it’s history with out touching religion. Religion tells you how a group people lived and what their cultural practices were and their relationship to the divine.  

None of the religions systems directly refute or rebut the other yet wars are waged and lives are taken in the name of “God”. Religion has been used as a tool of war as propaganda to convince people to go to war against another group of people. It  has the capacity to entice people to strap bombs to their bodies, convince women that they do  not have the right to make decisions about their own bodies, burn women at the stake and justify the brutal enslavement of another human being in the name of blind faith.  Religions have been used to invoke fear and to remove whatever culture was previously there before a war and or new religion takes root. 

Comparative religion shows how different cultures relate to the divine and how over history new religions replaced older ones. The proof of this is that a new religion always uses parts of the older religion as a way to convert people to the new religion.

Upon study of comparative religion we would learn that most of the latter religions (i.e. Christianity Catholicism, Judaism and Islam) borrowed their creation stories and myths from previous religions that were around well before the founding of the mentioned religions.

Most religious teachings have more common than they contradict, so why not find what resonates with you and figure out how to relate to everyone no matter what religion they partake in. We are all truly ONE whether we want to admit it or not!